The Answer
by The Purple Poet
Summary: She asked him a question he was never able to answer and it's been hanging over him ever since. For the last time, he runs away to solve his problems. (Cloti Oneshot, Post-AC, inspired by Case of Tifa)


He's on the run again. It's the middle of the night when he exits the bar silently and rides away with no word to her or the kids. It's the first time he's run since he had Geostigma and he's hating himself for going back there over and over to solve all his problems. But it's not for the same reasons as before. Something else is keeping him up at night, overwhelming his thoughts with no possible way to shake it off. This time it's not guilt as much as it is fear. It's not the same life or death sort of fear that he's used to but fear for his future and her future- for his family's future and their happiness. It's her voice that always stirs him awake night after night and she filled his dreams that were too often nightmares. The same words echo through his mind all the time; the words she'd spoken to him not long ago after he'd gone to sleep, the very question he's wanted so badly to answer. But fear seized him every time he thought of it- every time he heard those words. So now he's running and he hopes it's the last time he has to leave them to even think clearly. He tries to no avail to reassure himself that his actions are rational. It's not that they're in the way, he thinks, it's just that the church is so peaceful that his mind slows down. Plus it couldn't hurt to go see those two every once in a while, and they've proven to be helpful in his moments of doubt.

A light breeze of cool, fresh air greets him as he walks down the aisle to the new pool of water. His boots clunking slowly on the wooden floor seem to disturb the sacred silence. He sits by the pool and dips his hand in, aimlessly pushing a flower petal around in the water.

'You're not running away again are you?'

Cloud looks up as a soft voice echoes around him.

"I guess I am. But I need to think." he says aloud to the air of the church.

'You've forgiven yourself already, haven't you?'

It's Zack's voice now and Cloud gives a small smirk. Before he can reply, Aerith answers for him.

'It's different this time... isn't it?'

'Oh right… I see'

He nods and stares at his reflection in the water. This place usually calmed him but his thoughts are still racing and he's more scared than he ever was with the end of the world hanging literally over his head.

"I know I'm not good enough... And... I don't know what to do" he mumbles quietly. He sees a flower floating by and lifts it gently from the pool, remembering the flower he bought for her in Midgar so long ago. The way she'd blushed when he gave it to her with that look in her eyes. Even after he'd put her through hell and more she still looked at him with the same light in those eyes. She never put him through hell. His gaze shifted to the center of the pool where the flowers once grew and an unpleasant memory resurfaced. Except when he found her there half dead.

"Thanks again for that. For helping us." He whispers to Aerith. In response, the breeze sweeps over his head as if to smile and his mind finally slows down enough for him to think. He doesn't believe he deserves all she's given to him but he recognizes that he's incredibly fortunate to have had her by his side. Without her he wouldn't have made it half as far as he has and he owes her a lot. Indebted, however, wasn't quite the word for his feelings. But what good could he do for her? He shakes his head in frustration at his indecision, having given up on contemplation. Coming to the church seems to have been in vain. Soon the faint drip of water over the pool causes him to doze off. He lies down, flower in hand and allows the silence to lull him to sleep.

_Do you love me?_

Her voice wakes him again. He couldn't run after all. But how could he face her and give her a straight answer? He's afraid to say he does and he knows it'd be a lie to say he doesn't. What if she doesn't even remember asking him? Shutting her out would only make him lonely and he's learned lately that he's never really alone. So why...?

'Don't be afraid.' Zack's voice is sincere 'You're good enough.'

'I know it's hard, but isn't it time she had your answer? Shouldn't you let yourself be happy?' Aerith's words resound through the church.

'I know it would make her happy'

Would it make her happy, he wonders, if he told her how he felt? Surely if she'd asked it wasn't for nothing. All this time he couldn't see how she felt, but it's becoming clear to him now. How had he not seen it all along when it's been years? She was by his side when his entire sense of being was gone and he was a shell of the boy she once knew. The others must have been fighting but she put everything on hold… to stay with him when hope seemed lost. The nurse in Mideel once told him she wouldn't even sleep. Even nowadays she stays awake until he comes home from a job no matter how much sleep it costs her. And how could he have been so dense when she struggled to pour out her heart to him that night at the Golden Saucer? In return, what has he done but bring her pain? He realizes that's not exactly all. He's tried to show he cares. It's not easy for him but she still sees it, no matter how small the gesture. He wants to be good enough and he wants her to be happy. He wants to be happy too. Cloud props himself up and rubs his eyes before standing slowly. The silence is disturbed again with the thud of his boots walking toward the door. He hears Zack mutter something about how it was 'about time they got through to him' and his smile widens a bit. It must have been them keeping him up every night trying to lead him here, to tell him this. He twirls the flower he'd been holding between his fingers and imagines her face upon finding one on the bar this morning. He thanks them silently and rushes to Fenrir when he sees dawn breaking the desert clouds. She'll miss him if he's not home before she wakes and he couldn't stand to worry her any more. He's put this woman through enough and he'd be damned if he did it again.

He's pulling up to the bar when his cell phone starts to ring and he doesn't bother checking who it is, figuring it's a just another delivery. The sun is beginning to appear above the horizon so business might as well be starting now, though he'd prefer that it not at a time like this.

"Hello?"

"Cloud...? Were you out all night again?"

He almost gasps. She's already awake. He didn't get home in time and now he's got her worried about him again. He steps off of Fenrir and barely stops himself from hitting his head on the wall of the garage. How could he be so stupid and run off like that? No, it was for good reason. Zack and Aerith… they came to his rescue yet again.

"Cloud?"

"Hang on a second, Tifa. I have to sort this out."

"Sort what- " The corner of his mouth twitches as he puts the phone down and walks as quietly as he can through the door and toward the bar. She's standing there, back to him with the phone pressed to her ear. He sits down at the end of the bar and puts the phone to his ear.

"Yes" She jumps and whirls around at the sudden sound of his voice in the room. She drops the phone back on the receiver and moves slowly in his direction. He's put the flower on the counter in front of him but she doesn't notice. She's looking him straight in the eyes, her own eyes filled with worry, relief and that same light he now recognizes as love. He feels guilty for only seeing it now but he tries to smile in hopes that she'll stop worrying.

"What do you mean yes?" she asks "What's wrong? Why did you leave?" She didn't realize he'd just answered her question. Of course she didn't, she didn't even think he heard her that night.

"Tifa…" Cloud takes a deep breath. He has to make everything right with her and let her know everything. His problems would be theirs, just like she wanted.

"I had to think. The church helps me think. And I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure. I was scared." She tilts her head slightly and leans over the bar closer to him. Her fingertips brush the stem of the flower and she gasps softly and picks it up, saying nothing but moving her eyes straight back to his.

"What… were you thinking about?"

"You" He mumbles under his breath. She doesn't hear him.

"You had a question for me recently. And I didn't really give you a straight answer."

Tifa purses her lips and looks down at the flower. "That narrows it down to most of them." She says almost sadly. Cloud scratches his head thinking she's probably right about that and he feels even worse. All the more reason to tell her. If he can ever find the words, that is.

'She'll be happy no matter how you say it, man'

'You both deserve it, Cloud'

"After I went to sleep one night…" He begins and her eyes widen as she starts to remember what he's talking about.

"Th-that was nothing! Don't worry." She stammers and backs away from the counter and turns away. Before she can move he stands and steps around the bar, placing both hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes.

"Don't say that. Please don't say it was nothing." Cloud furrows his brow and brushes her bangs out of her eyes. She isn't making this any easier on him but he can see she's just as afraid as he is. She thinks he loves Aerith and she's just his childhood friend. He does love Aerith but it's the same way he loves Zack, Denzel and Marlene and even Barret, Cid, Yuffie and the rest. And Tifa is his childhood friend but she's more than that. She's all he had left when he lost the rest of his identity and she's the one who's been with him through it all. She's the strong and beautiful woman who supported the whole family when Cloud was at his worst in his battle with Geostigma. He's hurt her so much and still she loves him. But he won't anymore because he's changed for the better. Or so he hopes.

"You don't have to say anything." Her faint whisper shakes him from his thoughts "I don't want to make you uncomfortable if you don't want to answer… I was stupid for hoping." the last bit is barely audible as she looks at her feet.

"You haven't even heard what I want to say." Cloud tilts her chin up to face him again but she's still not making eye contact. "Tifa… look at me." She lifts her eyes slowly and he sees they're shimmering with tears threatening to fall. He presses his forehead to hers and wraps his arms around her waist and she flinches, shocked.

"I…" He lets out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding "I… do… I love you... more than anything." Before he can even inhale again, her arms are draped around his neck and her lips are pressed softly against his. At first he's surprised and swears his heart almost stopped but soon he's lost in the kiss. The world around has disappeared and all his fear is washed away in one fell swoop. All he feels is her beside him like she always is, but it's different, new and more than he ever could have asked for. Her hands are warm, tracing down his neck and running through his hair and he pulls her closer. She giggles and breaks the kiss. He's slightly disappointed but he smirks back at her and watches her as she picks up the flower he left on the bar and smells it before moving from the bar to find a vase for it. The smile hasn't left her face and it's the most genuine, contented smile he thinks he's ever seen from her. It's the most beautiful sight in the world to him, and he's seen most of the world.

'See, we told you it'd be okay. I'm proud of you, Cloud'

'Yeah, it ain't easy telling a woman you love her'

Tifa's in front of him again, the flower now sitting on the counter next to the window. He sees a future in her bright smile, a future for him, for her and for their little family. He thinks that he can finally be happy and move on with his life. Because of her. She's been his reason to go on for a long time. Now he can finally live not only for her, but for himself and that shining future in her smile. Her arms wind around his waist and she rests her head on his shoulder and sighs.

"Just so we're clear, I love you too." She laughs into his shoulder, her voice muffled. He runs a hand through her hair and allows himself to smile again. This would be the first of many more, thanks to her.


End file.
